Dating App No-No's for you, boys

Just a few words to the wise. If you're after a date on one of the hundred dating apps flooding our phones, then please avoid the following. Taken from a variety of sources, mainly the girls at work!

Us girls aren't digging them. 

1.Ayt Bbz.

I'm neither 15, nor do I have the IQ of a worm. Please, please have more respect for my intelligence and spell things correctly. And don't use 'ayt' as your first greeting. Please.

2. The Bathroom Selfie

I'm really pleased for you that your last ab popped out in the gym today, but all I can see is how long it seems to have been since you cleaned your bath. And it's making me want to be a bit sick. Also, is that a pair of socks on the floor? Or your pants? Ew.

3. The Low Slung Jogging Bottom

Leave something to the imagination. For the love of god.

4. Sunglasses Wearing

The odd sunglasses shot is fine. But not in every picture. Eyes tell a million stories and I need to see yours. Mainly just to see if you fall into either the 'Axe Murderer' or 'Potential Father Of My Children' category.

5. The Vegas Shot.

Call me old fashioned, but a picture of you holding two bottles of Grey Goose, in a pool with 16 half clad blondes doesn't scream 'husband material' to me.

6. Tattoo Close Ups

I'm not considering going out for dinner with your right shoulder blade, so just your face is fine for now. Thanks.

7. Emoji smut.

It's not big, and it's not clever. Spelling out various sexual acts with little yellow people is not the way to my heart. Even if I do find some of them pretty impressive.

8. Group Shots.

Please don't make your primary picture one of you among 4 other people. It's highly likely that I'm just going to prefer your mate. And he's probably married. It's just sad all round.

9. Love at first swipe.

Marriage proposals straight off the bat are mildly horrifying. Just saying.

10. Compliment carnage.

Nice eyes. Lovely
What a lovely smile. Sweet.
Head straight in for boob praise. Doubtful.

11. Too Keen.

I like persistence in a man. But if I don't reply to your message, please don't re-send a number of messages such as the below. It can be off putting.

'Oh, no hello then?'

Clearly not

'Oh come on babe, have a chat'

Not your babe, no.

Or one of my favourites.

'You're not my type anyway'

Thanks for stopping by dickhead.

LL X