The 2004 Kid Dictionary

Words that you said if you were at school in 2004.

Words, I hope to good God, you no longer use. 

The 'I was a teenage fool in 2004' Dictionary. 

Blaps

The act of hitting somebody. Usually without reason or cause. 

See - 'she just got blapsed up in the face' for reference. 

Shubz

A party or gathering that nine times out of ten only ever played the first ever So Solid Crew on repeat. You probably drank your first WKD Blue at one of these. If you are from South London, the police got called to at least one of them. One of your close friends may have lost their virginity at another. 

Grinding 

The word used to describe the art of dancing, somewhat like a slag, up against a boy who went to the shit school up the road. Often happened at a shubz. Often resulted in a teenage pregnancy. 

Choong ting

Attractive female

Buff ting

Attractive male.

Butters ting 

Unattractive person. Mainly just because they had braces. 

Shotgun

A bully's way of ensuring that they sat on the back row of the coach on your ghetto trip to Hampton Court. You wouldn't mess with him because a) he had the Adidas stripes shaved into his eyebrows and b) well...he shotgunned it. 

Llow it 

Please don't allow that to happen. See 'detention? Miss. LLOW IT!' for reference.

Spud

The word used straight after punching the class geek in his BCG scab to justify your mildly harrassing behaviour. 

Rush! 

The word screamed just before 400 puberty struck humans charged towards in the corridor outside Geography. RUSH! 

Skying it

The art of drinking a beverage from a can or bottle without your lips touching the container. Almost certainly perfected by only drinking Panda Pops. 

Blennie

Fat, basically. Word used to describe somebody not even that fat, but unable to fit into size 8 clothes from Clobber. 

Mashing

The act of having sex. Which, at 14, is a hot topic for all and sundry. 'Did you hear that they are mashing?! No way - she's so blennie!'

Breathalised

The hilarious act of breathing hard into a bag of crisps after offering them out to a friend. Endless hours of entertainment. 

Shook

Frightened, alarmed, generally put ill at ease. 'Bare shook bruv, bare shook'

& my all time favourite

Jinx

Oh me & my friend just said the same thing at the same time? Now, I've been peer pressured into remaining silent until someone far cooler than me says I can speak again. Sure thing. 

The South London Dictionary

Last night I paid an impromptu visit to our local school pub. The one that was a stone's throw up the hill from where we spent many a glorious year in an itchy green jumper and where most of us have spent at least one drunken night with a member of the IT staff?! The place we all meet every Christmas Eve without prior arrangement, and the place you are guaranteed to run into someone you know/would rather forget. 

One particular reprobate (who shall remain nameless) that we were educated alongside has taken the plunge and is going to 'find himself' in Thailand for a year or so and as such decided World Cup based beers in our local was a great way to send him on his way. Low and behold, out came some of the oldest faces from tutor groups of yesteryear. I'm so pleased I popped my head in.

In one corner, of one pub, in one part of South London, sat a group of grown up kids that hadn't all been together for nearly ten years. Not a lot had changed. Well, there's a few kids in the mix, a couple of serious jobs and a flat or two but on the whole we haven't changed one bit. 

In particular, the way we speak to each other is exactly the same it was in Mr 'Sweaty' Hart's Geography classes. The old catchphrases and pisstaking comments were as free flowing as the tequila. 

It got me thinking. If we were in a pub anywhere else in the country, or anywhere else in London for that matter, nobody would have a bloody clue what we were talking about. I decided it was time to educate all those unfortunate enough to not grow up in glorious South London to some of the key words and terms that make up our beautiful way of speaking.

Here it is.

The South London Dictionary 

Bants

An abbreviation for the word banter. A term used to justify any harsh, offensive or mildly sexist comment. 

Long

A word used to describe something you don't particularly want to do. 

'don't make me go to the bar, that's long'

Proper vexed.

A term used to describe being somewhat put out by a situation. 

Butterz

Adjective. Used to describe someone really unattractive.

'good to see she's still completely butterz'

You mug

A term used to highlight that someone has entirely embarrassed themselves.

Init.

General filler.

Fucking 'ell

General filler.

We're the red & blue army

A term used to highlight that the person supports Crystal Palace Football Club, and if you don't, your opinion is no longer valid to him/her. 

Don't air me

A term used to highlight the fact you'd rather not be ignored. 

See him off

Ask that young man to leave/hurt him. 

Deep 

Double meaning.

1. Something that's quite harsh and hard to deal with 'she aired you bruv, that's deep'

2. Something's pretty good. 'you won the lottery? Deep'.

Munch 

Food. Preferably fried chicken. Preferably a two piece and chips. 

'I need munch'

Licked

Highly intoxicated.
Chunder
To be violently sick. Usually after being licked.

Lad

A humorous gentleman. A fellow who courts many a female. 

Bare

Plenty, many, lots of.

'bare people in this pub'

More often used in a sarcastic context. For example the above sentence would be used upon arrival in a completely empty pub. 

Dash

To pass something to someone. 

Beef

A somewhat hostile disagreement.
Safe
Thanks/Kind Regards

Sick 

Something's that's pretty bloody good. 

& last but not least. Everyone's favourite. 

Chief 

An absolute idiot. 

"look at that chief, going to Thailand to 'find himself'"

LL 

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